The weekend with Astro Girl
May 8th 2008 01:09
Doesn't she just look so damn cool?
So I met up with my stripper friend at the pub as we had organised, in order to whinge about how shit our respective relationships were. But it didn’t quite work out like that.
She was wearing heels and a short skirt, showing off a cracking pair of calves and her bouncy, medium sized, wonderfully shaped breasts were also on show. We started drinking – heavily. We won some money on a poker machine. Don’t judge me for playing poker machines. They are completely different to playing poker, which I hate. I don’t know how, but they are. Shut up and leave me alone.
With our winnings we got drugs. We met up with some of her friends, some of my friends, other random people. I remember being in a nightclub at about 9am with every bloke in the place looking for a chance to chat her up. For an ego boost I’d let them start a conversation, then come across and whisk her away. Very juvenile behaviour I agree, but it made me feel great.
We met up with one of her friends in particular who is worth a mention. This girl was trash. She’s a 19 year old lesbian pole dancer ice addict who currently worked at the casino. She instantly disproved my theory that all strippers were hot, because she was the definition of common. Unfortunately for the girl she never had much of a chance. Coming from a broken home with a drug addicted father, she left school early and has never known anything better.
On this particular night the 19 year old had to leave work early though, because due to all the drugs she had forgotten how to play blackjack. She was dressed like a hip-hop street-kid, wore glasses and was slightly cross-eyed. I couldn’t stand her and she had a crush on the girl I was with, so it was awkward. Eventually the cross-eyed stripper left. Lucky for me.
So there was more drugs, drinking and chatting with randoms. At one club I bought drugs off a person I didn’t know. I gave him the money and he gave me his driver’s licence as security. I got the drugs and just today opened my wallet to find I still had his license. Whoops.
Anyway, on the night of the second day we were wasted and at a huge house party. Some of short hair girl’s friends were there. I kissed the stripper friend in front of them. Stupid but damn fun. This could be described as a downward spiral.
After this party and before the weekend was out, I brought the stripper back to my house and we screwed each other’s brains out, fucking our pain away. It worked, if only for a short time. At this point I discovered a small tattoo of astro girl on her left shoulder. So let’s call her astro girl, who by some strange coincidence is one cartoon character I’ve always had a crush on. Come on, she’s young but really cute. And having a crush on a cartoon character does not make me a paedophile, so stop thinking it.
The stripper was a fantastic lay, great dancer and drew all the right sort of attention in public since she had excellent posture and a great walk. It was like she had been to a finishing school. Funnily enough, she had.
On Sunday night Astro Girl found out that the Fat Islander had decided to change his ways and had gone around to her place to try and work things out. He rang while at her place. Astro Girl said she was at home. Technically she wasn’t lying. She was just at my home, not hers. The Fat Islander went nuts.
So over the course of the weekend I had managed to destroy two relationships. The handy thing is, both relationships were knackered anyway so really, we had only done ourselves a favour.
Oh and did I mention that the sex was great? My flatmate actually sent me an email asking me to keep the noise down. Too embarrassed to talk to my face because she never gets any. She said, and I quote, “It’s like living with a porno movie”. What compliment!
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